Vice Style

I remember, even at nine years of age, me and my best friend Daynah wore make-up and short skirts, talked about boys and music, and thought we were sexy in some kind of weird, abstract way. I'm told that's pretty normal; girls just think faster than boys. They look to the future and plan. We girls unintentionally map out the whole reproductive cycle. That's why we're given baby dolls and prams to play with at two-years-old. At 22 that now seems pretty fucked-up.

What do you expect a child to do? You reiterate from day one that soon she'll have a baby too. It's just some sick circle of love. Is having a baby when you're basically child, biologically sick but fundamentally beautiful, or biologically beautiful but fundamentally sick. The point is I don't know. I don't know because I got as far away as I could.

My childhood ambitions were to drop out of school before I was 13, lose my virginity before I was 14, leave home before I was 15, go on to have at least two children before I was 18, be vaguely sure of who their fathers were, and have my own flat on the Newington council estate.

When you grow up you do retarded things to try to impress people. You see someone that is older doing something and you mimic it hoping to achieve maturity. Then when you actually become mature you look back and think, “That was a little immature wasn't it?” Still, all those dumb things are exactly what made me who I am today. But while I moved on, wanting to live the life Kate Moss and Pete Doherty did in pages of Hello before I could have a child, Daynah's childhood dreams came true.