Vice Style

Anyone with any interest in men's fashion is probably wishing they were in Paris right now. I sure as hell have no idea why I'm missing the Mugler show. Years ago, Nicola Formichetti asked me to interview the retired Thierry Mugler for Dazed & Confused, and Thierry, who was a motherfucker to track down, only returned his answers three days after my deadline.

In order to stay up all night and finish the piece I had some guy in Seattle who wanted to sexually enslave me over the internet, hypnotize me. I said that if he could arrange for me to work solidly for the next day with no sleep, maybe I'd consider being his slave. Obviously, I was lying. I finished the piece and still think it was pretty good, Mugler goes on about trying so hard because he believes in God. I pretty much had Whitney Houston's Olympic anthem "One Moment In Time" playing on repeat too and I think that also kept me focused.

So, more than anyone, I wish I was in Paris right now to see the second season of the now Formichetti-run Mugler. While you're wishing you were in Paris for the shows today, you should read this piece about partying during Milan men's fashion week.

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Living in a city where guys are either gay, married, or in the Mafia, Milan men’s fashion week is my salvation. When the models are here I find myself wandering the streets asking if I can help them “find their casting” or riding public transport for hours just to watch them get on and off. So I guess it’s appropriate that this MFW was kicked off with a party on a tram.

Featuring DJs Fabiano Valli and Simo Skinnyboy, the tram had an open bar with what I’m sure were spiked drinks which made everyone channel their inner psycho and start pissing out the windows.  Later we all went to Punks Wear Prada, a party devoid of both punks and Prada, but full of hot, wasted kids trying to dance.

Saturday, I was backstage at Dolce&Gabbana interviewing models about their sex lives and David Gandy here—picutred with Stefano Gabbana—about his new book featuring naked pictures of his [self-proclaimed] “Great ass.” I also asked him if he watches Jersey Shore, and he said “No”, which is a lie, as he's obviously based his image on it.

Whatever you think, I actually like Dolce&Gabbana a lot because they always find a way to incorporate nudity and/or slutty fabrics—like lace or mesh—into their collections. Stefano Gabbana said he loved my lace dress, and I was like, "Duh, it’s American Apparel and they stole the design from you".

I ended up missing the actual show because I was too distracted trying to score pictures of the boys changing.



Everyone was going crazy for this woman. Bryan Boy practically fainted. Is she Anna Wintour’s cousin, or something? Kanye’s new girl? Oh yeah, it's crazy woman Anna Della Russo.

That night, Dolce&Gabbana held a party in honor of David’s new book. I guess it was fun in the way that dancing with queens and sweating off all your make-up can be. Here, guests were mostly wearing the “latest trends” like pajamas as clothes or Gaga envy shoes.

This outfit on the left was probably the best there. He's Oscar Mamooi,

I had more luck on Sunday when we went to the ck party which was full of male go-go dancers and models who pose like this when you tell them to “be sexy”. Eventually, everyone ended up hooking up and/or coming to mine for an afterparty, but by then the boys were pretty exhausted from a long day of wearing clothes.

Monday I went to D&G’s last show before they close the brand. Knowing this, I assumed the runway would be full of funeral clothes, Bjork remixes, and coffins, but unfortunately it was as upbeat and cute as ever, which makes me think this “last show” business is maybe just a publicity stunt. I wasn’t invited to any other shows because I’m a loser but even if I had, the quality of my pictures would be just as bad as those you’ve seen, so what would've been the point?

That afternoon, I stopped by Nike Stadium to check out a photo exhibition, drink free beer, and watch boys show off their shoes. Everyone there was talking about the Moschino party, so I went, but didn’t get in because the model I was with was like, “I’m a model, let me in”, which was totally embarrassing and obviously didn’t work.

We ended up going to the Elite Models party, which was a terrible mistake. The drinks weren’t free so the models got bored, then stoned and started showing off what I guess they thought were gang signs.

When I asked this Elite model what he was wearing he said, “My mother’s cardigan. I love wearing my mother’s clothes because they make me feel safe.” Later, regretting both what he said and the fact that he let me take a picture of him kissing a drag queen—which he made me delete—he assured me that he isn’t gay and totally loves "juicy pussy".

 

INTRO: DARYOUSH HAJ-NAJAFI
TEXT AND PHOTOS: TEA HACIC VLAHOVIC

TAGGED: Milan Menswear Shows